Interesting People

March 22, 2013 by misstori123

I always wind up doing reports on interesting people.
Take freshmen year, for example. My friend Justine and I had to do a report on Alfred Nobel for our history class. In case you are unaware, Nobel was an extreme pacifist. He created dynamite with the belief that it would end war because of its extremely fatal results. Well, as we know, it didn’t end war…
Nobel also had a horrible love life. The man was rejected by the first woman he proposed to. Then, he returned from her area and became interested in his secretary. At the peak of his attraction, the secretary spontaneously married her ex-boyfriend.
He also read his own obituary. The newspaper inaccurately proclaimed his death. Few people cared.
Poor Nobel.

Our Sophomore year, Justine and I were also thrown together to compile a report on Charles Lindbergh. Now, you may think, “oh, Lindbergh! He’s that great pilot that America loved! What could possibly go wrong in his life?” You naive person. Lindbergh sympathized with the nazi cause. Furthermore, his son was kidnapped in one of the biggest crime cases of the century. The poor boy wound up dying. But don’t be so sympathetic… He had other children. Just not with his wife. Lindbergh had five affairs. And, yes… one was with his secretary.

Currently, I am compiling a report on the Modernist poet T.S. Eliot. Eliot is an interesting fellow, as well. He received a major in English at Harvard, which is all good and well, but then he traveled to England and his life started. The poet married Vivien Haigh-Wood, who had a neurotic illness. They did not tell their parents about the marriage. They wound up being a horrible match, and divorced. Vivien died later at a mental institution. When Eliot’s father died, he died believing his son to be a failure. At the age of 68, Eliot married his 30-year-old SECRETARY. As my friend pointed out, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN HIS DAUGHTER. When she was born, he was already 38 years old. Crazy! But their marriage was much more successful than his first marriage. Each Sunday of their marriage, he wrote a love poem for her.
And he had an obsession with cats.

I Must Paint a Cat On a Large Canvas

February 20, 2013 by misstori123

Today, Gigi told me that I am the sort of person who, when told to draw a cat, will paint one on a large canvas with oil paints.

It’s true.

I always go about things the long way. I always work hard on what requires little effort. I always choose the most time-consuming method.

There can be no room for failure. I MUST succeed. And if, to ensure success, I must paint a cat on a large canvas with oil paints, then, by golly, I will do so.

My Dog is peculiar

February 9, 2013 by misstori123

I have a very peculiar dog. And his name is Milo.

He is peculiar for several reasons. First of all, my dog is a cat.

When he stands up after a long period of sitting down, he stretches his arms like a cat and then proceeds to arch his back in a purely cat fashion.
He doesn’t bark. He yodels.
He likes to curl up on our laps… but he weighs 60 pounds.
He itches and grooms himself like a cat.
He’s obsessed with milk. He has come to recognize the sound of me removing the gallon of milk from the fridge, and puts on a big show of yodeling to beg me to pour him some.
He prances.
He likes to sit on the highest place in the room.

It doesn’t just end there, though. He has several odd habits…

-Every morning, when my father goes to take a shower, Milo jumps up onto his bed and begins to flip his pillow over again and again, and, when he believes it is thoroughly coated in his saliva, he will promptly push it onto the floor.

-Each night, Milo scrambles under the bed sheets- comforter and all- to the foot of the bed. He spends the whole night there.

Milo also has odd phobias. He fears the vacuum (especially our roomba), my camera, the broom, the smoke detector, the door of my brother’s room, hair dryers, and school buses.

He loves ice cubes, he steals our blankets to lay on, he can eat three cups of dog food in 30 seconds (I counted), and he always lays down in what we call his “Superman” pose. When Milo was a puppy, he would lay on his back with his legs sticking straight up.

He often chases his tail (even though he is now two years old), and when he catches it, he stands there for a solid minute, wondering what to do now. This is usually when he comes up to one of us with his squeaky toy (why on earth did we get him that?) and squeaks it constantly until we acknowledge him. When he’s in an especially playful mood, he will do laps around the couch in our basement– not chasing anything and with nothing chasing him. And when the yard is coated in snow, he will run with his tongue to the ground, trying to consume as much snow as possible.

He also functions as a great guard dog when we best need one, efficiently scaring both door-to-door salesmen and my grandmother away.

Yep. I love that dog.