Tag Archives: science

If you were made of wax…

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Today I met Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison, Theodore Roosevelt, JK Rowlings, Beatrix Potter, Al Capone, Cleopatra, Babe Ruth, Shawn Johnson, and Vera Wang. I was not dreaming, I’m not on drugs, and I do not see dead people.
My brother’s elementary school had their annual wax museum project. My brother went as Nikola Tesla to give a speech about his accomplishments, which included saving the lives of many poor pigeons, one of whom he spent $2000 dollars on and loved “like he would have loved a woman.”
Tesla was really an amazing fellow. He feared hair and doctors. He loved the number three, pigeons, and science. He hated Thomas Edison. Edison was his enemy, but things didn’t really go well for Edison. While Tesla supported AC electricity, Edison supported DC, and called AC impossible (at least until Tesla actually invented it). Edison then went on to use AC in a government-approved electric chair to demonstrate how dangerous that form of electricity was. He executed some poor criminal in an extremely painful way–the man basically melted. But Edison’s plan backfired. Instead of associating the execution with Tesla’s AC electricity, the public associated it with Edison. And, when Tesla’s company was suffering financial strain, Tesla ripped up his contract that gave him all the royalties to his patents so that the company could live on. Plus, he had a really sweet mustache.

Tesla always wore formal clothing. He was a quirky fellow…

But I’m not here to talk about Tesla. No, I mean to talk about the wax museum project. What if I were to do the project now? Who would I be?
I could be Charles Lindbergh and talk about my son’s tragic kidnapping, brag about my trips all over the world, and flirt with all the ladies. But that would be awkward because I’m a girl.
I could be TS Eliot and just recite brilliant poetry the whole time.
I could be Alfred Nobel and complain about my misused inventions and my horrible life.
I could be Al Capone because I could do a lot of creative things as him. (“I spent a lot of time working in soup kitchens and I donated money to charity. This helped me escape from the police’s notice and relieved my conscience at the same time!
I could be Teddy Roosevelt because he rode a moose.

You wish you could ride a moose…

I could be Alice Paul because she was a pretty amazing feminist. (You may know her from the movie “Iron Jawed Angels“)
I could be Nefertiti because I love ancient Egypt and Cleopatra is so overrated.
I could be Harper Lee because her friends told her they would cover her expenses for a  year while she went to write a book.
I could be Abigail Adams because we all know she was the brains behind the country.


I could be Joan of Arc because she was one deadly heroine.
I could be Jane Austen because… MR. DARCY.
I could be Sarah Emma Edmonds because she was a little-known (thus effective) spy dressed as a man during the Civil War.
Yeah. I’d probably be her.
Who would you be?